


Do what you want (with my body)

by Connah



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blow Jobs, Break Up, Break up sex, Crying, Established Relationship, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Sad feelings, Smut, poor younghoon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:54:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29358300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Connah/pseuds/Connah
Summary: Chanhee takes a job abroad. And he knows he has to break up with Younghoon.
Relationships: Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon
Comments: 11
Kudos: 67





	Do what you want (with my body)

**Author's Note:**

> ... Happy Valentine's day? :D   
> Loosely inspired from the Lady Gaga song "Do what U want"  
> (aka the lines 'You can't have my heart, and You won't use my mind, but Do what you want with my body  
> / You can't stop my voice 'cause You don't own my life, but Do what you want with my body')
> 
> As always, not beta read. It's 2:30am lmao.  
> P.S don't repost my work anywhere without asking permission!

Five years. Chanhee and Younghoon had been together for five years. It was everything that they hoped it could’ve been; safe, secure, comfortable.

Predictable.

But Chanhee was about to bring an end to all of that.

“I got the part.”

“That’s great, sweetie. I’m so happy for you!” Younghoon encased his boyfriend with his long arms, totally missing the sour note with tainted Chanhee’s happy news with something much more deeply underlying them.

Chanhee allowed it. He allowed himself to be swallowed up by the comfortable grasp of his boyfriend. The arms that he knew too well. The hands which had taken care of him when he was sick; when he was angry and couldn’t find a resolution, when he cried over something trivial. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel comfortable one last time.

“When do you start rehearsing?” Younghoon withdrew himself back to look at Chanhee from an arm’s length.

“Uh, next Monday actually. Younghoon-” He knew he had to do it. He had to break the news about  _ where  _ the job was and not when it would start. But Younghoon was already walking to the kitchen to fetch Chanhee’s favorite bottle of wine that they saved for such occasions.

For when Chanhee was happier than ever, for when he succeeded at something he had been longing for.

It was supposed to be a celebratory drink- that’s what Younghoon made of it.

“Then you can drink tonight, right? Oh my god, I can just imagine you; you, Choi Chanhee, up on stage, showing the world you're meant to be there. I’m so proud of you.” 

Chanhee’s heart was already broken, but it continued to fracture with every word that left Younghoon’s mouth in succession.

“Younghoon-” He had to tell him.

“When is your first performance? Do you get front row tickets for special guests?” He padded around the kitchen, coupling a pair of glasses as he balanced the expensive bottle of wine in the other palm of his hand. Chanhee’s eyes flitted between the ground and the back of his head.

“Younghoon.” He had to tell him before it was too late.

“I can’t wait to see you, my little star, my boyfriend-”

“We have to break up.”

Younghoon almost dropped the two glasses he was carrying in one hand when he heard it.

Their eyes would’ve met if Chanhee could’ve bared to have brought them up from the floor. Younghoon’s eyes were latched onto him. They spoke silently; asking him what did he mean, why would he say that, what had changed? 

Chanhee was right not to look up and listen to them.

“The job is in America, Younghoon. I’m flying out this weekend.”

“What?” There it was, finally that crack in his voice Chanhee had expected to hear.

When Chanhee auditioned for the role he knew they were looking for somebody to take part in the world tour of the stage production, but he still did it anyway. His chances were a million to one; he didn’t expect to succeed. Even if he wanted to back out, Younghoon had been by his side vigilantly, pushing him to try even if it meant tasting failure a few times.

_ ‘One day they’ll see you, Chanhee. They’ll see you for everything that I see you for: a smart, charismatic, passionate guy with more talent in his pinky finger than half of the whole industry had in their whole bodies.’ _

That moment of visibility had finally come.

The air turned thicker, rife with unspoken words that both of them were afraid to speak. Younghoon was usually the one good at dealing with emotions. He had shown Chanhee that over all of the years they had spent together. It had been Younghoon confessing first only for Chanhee to say it back. Younghoon suggesting that they take their relationship further, that they start living together. Saying ‘I love you’ first. It wasn’t that Chanhee didn’t want any of those things, if he was really against it he could’ve said no. 

But Chanhee had always known his mind better than anyone else. That when his true calling knocked, there would be nothing that could stand in his way.

Even the one that he loved.

“You- You can’t leave me Chanhee, that’s not fair.” Younghoon broke into the stale air. Chanhee felt a twinge of annoyance flicker in his chest, but he quickly quelled it. Younghoon wasn’t in the wrong for thinking that.

Not after five years. Five years of pure happiness, of Younghoon supporting Chanhee through everything, not letting him give up. Younghoon had been his wall, his biggest supporter. And now here he was telling him that he no longer needed Younghoon by his side.

“You won’t come with me, Younghoon, I know you.” And that was true, Chanhee did know Younghoon. Better than Younghoon knew himself sometimes.

He knew how reliable and calm Younghoon could be, not just in their relationship but with everything else he did in his life. He clocked in on time perfectly every morning, had never taken a sick day. He arrived at destinations ten minutes early to get his bearings and always made sure to text Chanhee when he was on his way home just in case something happened.

Younghoon didn’t like change. That was how they had lasted so long, Younghoon had gotten comfortable with Chanhee failing over and over and had set himself up with the idea that eventually Chanhee would settle down to his pace too.

He didn’t really know Chanhee in that aspect.

“Can’t you just find a new role? One closer to home? Jesus, Chanhee, even one in this country, please-”

“This is my dream role, Younghoon. I’m not about to give it up just to stay here.” Chanhee’s words bubbled with a bit of malice than he had intended. Younghoon’s bottom lip began to quiver.

“Not even to stay with me?” 

Chanhee expected that to hurt just as much as it did. 

Younghoon stumbled forward, his arms reaching out to Chanhee, who remained cold and motionless. His eyes were pinned to the ground, which was quickly being swallowed up as Younghoon wrapped his hands around Chanhee’s biceps.

“You’re just going to throw away everything we have together? Everything for a role? I don’t understand-”

“You said you wanted this for me.” Chanhee furrowed his eyebrows together. He stiffened his upper lip. Younghoon ducked down lower, trying his best to engage Chanhee in eye contact, but Chanhee knew better than to do that.

“I want the world for you, Chanhee. I just thought that I’d be in it.” Tears pricked at the edge of his words, wrapping around Chanhee’s heart and constricting it tightly. Chanhee felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Please, Chanhee,” Younghoon trembled. In a moment of weakness, Chanhee’s eyes flickered up to him.

He saw the world. He saw everything that he had known for the past five years. The love, the tenderness. The endless nights he spent wrapped up in Younghoon’s arms in their bed, the ice cream dates at the park, and the rainy mornings with their favorite coffee cups. He saw it all wash away as Younghoon’s tears finally spilled over. 

“It’s just for a year.” Chanhee tried to bargain. A laugh bubbled through the agony in Younghoon’s throat.

“A year. You say that now, but we both know you’re not coming back.” 

And yes, they did. 

The world would open up for Chanhee once he left this city. Once his name appeared on the international brochures, when he finally got to be on stage. Not any of the stages he had been on before, those remedial, low-production stages either; Chanhee could finally perform in a real spotlight. Just like Younghoon had always said that he could. 

He guessed Younghoon didn’t really believe the things he said.

Younghoon came to cling to Chanhee’s face. Fingers desperate and pleading, pulling at Chanhee’s features in an effort to make him look at him. Chanhee shook himself loose as he took a step back; Younghoon followed him with every beat.

“I thought you’d be happy for me. You said that you wanted this,” Chanhee argued. He ultimately knew it was pointless. Younghoon was going to hurt no matter what Chanhee said; he couldn’t prevent that. But there was no escaping it. Chanhee was stubborn when he had made up his mind.

“I’d support you through anything, but you’re asking me to give you up to be able to do that.” He strained. Chanhee licked his lips dryly at that statement.

“I thought you’d understand,” Chanhee muttered in a huff. He missed the look on Younghoon’s face as his heart began to break.

“Chanhee-” 

“No.” Chanhee gulped. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to hurt Younghoon, Lord knows he didn’t deserve it. Younghoon had been nothing but good to Chanhee throughout all of these years, and now Chanhee was treating him as if he were a villain.

But he knew if he listened to reason, he would have no reason to go which wasn’t selfish.

Which ultimately, Chanhee was. Younghoon didn’t deserve to be with somebody as selfish as Chanhee.

“Babe please, just listen to me. Wait-” Younghoon pleaded as Chanhee took another step away from him. Chanhee wished he couldn’t hear a word Younghoon was saying.

“I just have to get my stuff.” He tried to distract them both. It was fruitless and futile.

“Chanhee, please don’t go-” He begged. 

Chanhee’s footsteps began to move quickly towards the bedroom, closely followed by Younghoon. Younghoon pulled at every part of him; his jacket, his arms, his waist. Chanhee didn’t pause. He knew slowing down would give Younghoon false hope. It would make him think he had a chance to change Chanhee’s mind, but it was too late.

He pulled the suitcase out of the wardrobe. The suitcase they had used on vacations was covered in stickers from the places they had visited. Everything in this apartment was littered with the scent of their relationship; it tortured Chanhee even more. He pulled it onto the floor to open it, propping himself down on one knee to undo the zipper.

“Chanhee, please.” Younghoon cried. His voice was ugly and hoarse, coated in raw emotion as wetness sunk into Chanhee’s jacket. Younghoon knelt behind him, pressed up against his lover in the most intimate way possible. His arms found their way into Chanhee’s jacket, wrapping into the material of his shirt as he tried to slow him down. Chanhee stumbled slightly as he was forced to let go of the suitcase.

“I love you so much. I don’t want you to leave me, please.” He sobbed. Without looking at Younghoon, Chanhee felt the impact of his words more clearly. His eyes softened; he felt weak. Younghoon sniffled through his tears as he held onto Chanhee tightly, squeezing his lungs until Chanhee almost felt lightheaded from the touch.

“Don’t do this to me. I’ll do anything, just please stay.” 

Chanhee bit onto his lower lip. He loved Younghoon so much that it was killing him inside to see him like this.

He remained in silence. Younghoon’s breath began to shake as his body followed suit. Without any more words, Younghoon pressed his lips to the nape of Chanhee’s neck. It made Chanhee shiver quietly, goosebumps running along his arms as the coolness of Younghoon’s cheeks pressed against his warm skin and made him stop breathing.

“Please.” Younghoon began to mutter mindlessly. He moved his lips higher, his nose brushing through strands of Chanhee’s hair, his hands homing in tighter around his waist. Chanhee always enjoyed how safe Younghoon made him, so loved and secure. How he would miss all those nights where Younghoon drowned him in praise for simply being in his life like he was the only thing in the world that mattered.

Because, to Younghoon, Chanhee is his world.

A hand slid up Chanhee’s chest, pulling his shirt along with it as long fingers graced the edge of Chanhee’s neck. Chanhee gulped harshly, his vocal cords straining against his adam’s apple as Younghoon grazed over it. Chanhee was always sensitive there, and Younghoon knew it. He knew Chanhee’s body perfectly, every nook and cranny which set him alight.

Younghoon pulled Chanhee towards him, his fingers nudging at his jaw as his lips spiraled alongside it. He was desperate and needy, and soon enough, the sensations began to overwhelm Chanhee’s mind too. Chanhee’s lips parted in a sigh as Younghoon let out a shuddered breath against his ear.

“Stay with me.” He hummed against it. Chanhee’s eyes half-closed over as he dropped his head back against Younghoon’s body.

He saw it as a victory. Younghoon’s other hand pulled at Chanhee’s hip in an attempt to get him to face him. The angle was awkward, with them both still kneeling on the floor, the most Chanhee could do was arch his back slightly until he felt his cheek press up against Younghoon’s as his lover continued to kiss closer to his mouth. His fingers pressing on Chanhee’s jaw in a bid to reach his lips, he swept his thumb over Chanhee’s lower lip as Chanhee finally looked Younghoon in the eyes.

“Tonight?” Chanhee finally muttered. Younghoon felt like he had just witnessed a miracle. 

“Tonight.” 

Younghoon tilted his head, connecting their lips in an attempted heavy kiss. It was mostly tongues as neither of them coped with the angle until Chanhee finally gave way. Chanhee turned on his knees as Younghoon grabbed his face, pulling him closer in a desperate act of want and desire, with absolutely no intention of letting him go soon.

Chanhee’s sigh broke into the other’s mouth. It was filled with agony. With ache and torment. The kiss amplified everything; Younghoon’s feelings, Chanhee’s resolution. He knew he could make it through one night.

One last night. Then he could put it all behind him.

Younghoon pushed Chanhee back against the floor. The cold, hard ground made him stiffen and wince as Younghoon climbed on top of him. Chanhee let him take the lead in everything. Younghoon clung to every part of his body that he could find: his waist, his shoulders, his ribcage. Feeling Chanhee’s steady breath despite the rapid pace at which things were heating up made Younghoon feel crazy like he had to draw a reaction out of Chanhee to make it feel real.

He took Chanhee’s lip between his teeth, biting down hard as Chanhee whined out into the air. Younghoon savored the swelling as he sucked it into his mouth. Chanhee had his eyes open, watching the tears form on the edge of Younghoon’s eyelashes.

Chanhee had seen Younghoon cry a million times, but he had never seen him look so broken before.

Younghoon turned his attention elsewhere, kissing down Chanhee’s neck, leaving lingering marks. He wasn’t usually the type to leave such things on his boyfriend- those red, almost purple marks- but in his desperation, he saw it fit to grace Chanhee’s body with them. Each one made Chanhee hiss, pressing his back up from the bedroom floor, arching himself into Younghoon. With one hand, Younghoon dove under the small of Chanhee’s back, catching the material of his shirt as he pressed into his skin with trimmed nails.

“Younghoon,” Chanhee whined quietly. It wasn’t a protest, and Younghoon didn’t mistake it for one as he pulled Chanhee’s shirt over his stomach as he came to kiss down his abdomen.

Younghoon had always adored Chanhee’s waist. How it slotted perfectly between his large hands, how fragile and flexible it seemed. His hands coursed over it roughly as he pushed Chanhee’s clothes further up his body, leaving his chest exposed to the cold air and making Chanhee gasp a little. 

Chanhee felt his vision blur after he blinked for the first time in a while. 

“Younghoon, bed, please.” Chanhee lightly suggested. Younghoon paused in an instant, looking up his lover’s body in almost despair, that pained look never leaving his eyes. He let go of Chanhee long enough for the both of them to climb to their feet. Younghoon’s hands shakily peeling off Chanhee’s jacket and shirt before they got lost in his hair again.

This time Chanhee kissed back properly. Losing himself in Younghoon’s lips as the other pulled him closer. If he was going to leave him, he thought this was the least he could do. Give Younghoon one last night to remember him by before he was gone in the morning. If anything, it worked in Chanhee’s favor, too. Tiring Younghoon out physically and mentally meant it would be easier for Chanhee to pack his bag before he left.

Chanhee lifted Younghoon’s shirt up too, breaking their kiss to toss it somewhere to the side. Younghoon gently took Chanhee’s hips and turned his back towards the bed, lowering him down as he pressed a knee in between Chanhee’s thighs. 

“I love you so much,” Younghoon muttered to him, their lips connecting once more as Chanhee curled his arms around his neck. He pulled Younghoon onto him, enjoying the weight against his body, warm skin on his own. Younghoon moved his lips once again, trailing them wetly down Chanhee’s torso until he reached the waistband of his pants.

Chanhee obliged him, lifting up ever so slightly so Younghoon could slide them off. It was no surprise that Chanhee wasn’t hard, nothing about breakup sex was sexy to him, but Younghoon didn’t seem to care at all. He pushed Chanhee further back on the bed to make him comfortable before slowly working his hand over Chanhee’s balls and dick.

“Younghoon.” Chanhee moaned lowly, feeling himself grow in the palm of his hands. Part of him wanted Younghoon to stop. He felt greedy taking all of the attention; he felt like he should’ve been the one making Younghoon’s toes curl, but Younghoon simply hushed him into quietness once more before peppering his lower abdomen with kisses.

When Chanhee was half-hard, Younghoon put him into his mouth. The heat making Chanhee groan as the muscles in his thighs tensed. Younghoon ran his hands over them and up towards his waist to keep him steady. 

Chanhee tried to relax. He tried to pretend that this was just like any other night they had slept together. Any time from their drunken escapades to true lovemaking. Younghoon was a gentle soul- he enjoyed making love to Chanhee in the most intimate and passionate ways. But right now felt anything but intimate. Chanhee felt void and guilt-ridden like he was leading Younghoon into a false sense of security by being here at all. 

At least if Younghoon thought that, maybe he would grow to hate Chanhee after all. 

If he hated him, he wouldn’t miss him. He would stop thinking about him sooner, would stop checking his phone for missed calls. Cruel to be kind, Chanhee thought. If he left Younghoon with an open wound, it would heal faster than a broken heart.

Younghoon took Chanhee’s cock to the back of his throat, making him gag a little and draw Chanhee’s attention back to reality. With a gentle hand, Chanhee thumbed through Younghoon’s hair, pushing it away from his forehead so he could see more clearly, watching his dick disappear to the back of Younghoon’s throat again. 

He muttered a small ‘fuck’ as he pushed his hips up slightly. Younghoon hollowed his cheeks out as he pressed his tongue flat against Chanhee’s dick. After five years he knew exactly how to make Chanhee cum if he wanted him to, but he knew that the sooner that happened this time, the quicker Chanhee would be out of his life.

He pulled back, Chanhee whining at the loss of heat around his cock as his grip in Younghoon’s hair grew tighter. Younghoon lapped his tongue up Chanhee’s cock one more time before completely pulling away. He pushed himself back up Chanhee’s body, connecting their lips once again as Younghoon moaned deeply into the kiss.

Chanhee parted his legs, feeling Younghoon’s firm hands wrap around his slender thighs and pull them up to his waist. The two of them continued like this for a while. Like teenagers: rutting up against each other nakedly, almost worried to take it to the next step. Chanhee allowed himself to get lost in the moment. They weren’t strangers to taking foreplay slowly, but he knew Younghoon was doing it to stall the inevitable. 

“Me on top,” Chanhee muttered between closed lips. Younghoon barely had a second to take it in before Chanhee switched positions on them, throwing his leg around Younghoon’s thigh in a bid to pull him beneath him. 

With a gentle thud, Chanhee came to rest above Younghoon, kissing him back instantly as Younghoon firmly kneaded his ass. Chanhee hummed into his mouth, making Younghoon braver as he pushed Chanhee down to graze against his clothed erection.

“What about you?” Chanhee mused, feeling the pressure against his ass as Younghoon brushed up against him. 

“What about me?” He answered. Chanhee paused, pushing himself back until he was off the bed. He was quickly followed by a hasty Younghoon sitting up after him.

Chanhee slotted Younghoon’s legs between him. Calmly and silently, like there was no rush in undressing him. Chanhee’s hands came to unbutton Younghoon’s jeans; the air was still between them as he slowly pushed him over his hips. 

The moment they were on the floor, Younghoon pulled Chanhee back onto him, embracing him wholly in a kiss as he wrapped his arms around his tiny frame. He wanted to savor everything, every touch of Chanhee’s body, every second on his tongue. Chanhee found himself ground on Younghoon’s lap as his hands moved to cup his ass tightly and start to guide him.

“Fuck, Younghoon,” Chanhee moaned. He tilted his head back as Younghoon attached his lips to the exposed surface. “Your hands.” 

Younghoon bit down harder. It made Chanhee cry into the open air, Younghoon moved to his collarbone to continue the same thing. The shades of dark red and purple littered Chanhee’s upper body as Younghoon pulled Chanhee closer to him. He forced Chanhee to follow him as he leaned back onto the bed, his hand mindlessly searching for the bottle of lubricant they always kept on the table. Once Chanhee realized what he was searching for, he instinctively reached out for it.

Younghoon removed it from his hands, uncapping the bottle before squeezing the gel over his fingers. He sat back up, refusing to let go of Chanhee the entire time as if he would die without him. That’s exactly how he felt. 

He pressed a kiss to Chanhee’s cheek, a finger circling Chanhee’s hole before he slipped it in, causing Chanhee to hiss and cuss against the crook of Younghoon’s neck as he relaxed against the digit. Younghoon pressed his lips against Chanhee’s chest, tongue lapping over the marks he had left as he slowly worked his finger inside Chanhee.

“Feel so good against me, like we're made for each other.” Younghoon gasped. His voice cracked as he tried to hold back his tears; he wanted to convince himself the ordeal from before was over, that Chanhee would never dream of leaving him, that it was all just cold feet after five years together.

Chanhee hummed dismissively at Younghoon’s words.

He added another finger, Chanhee’s nails dug into Younghoon’s shoulders as he arched his stomach against him. Younghoon nudged him until he was able to capture his lips in a deep kiss, letting his tongue lap up Chanhee’s minuscule whines as he picked up the pace.

“Fuck, Younghoon, right there.” Chanhee breathed as he pushed away from the kiss. Feeling the coil in his stomach tighten as Younghoon fucked him open slowly with two fingers.

It made Chanhee remember their first time, in the least romantic of places. The back of Younghoon’s car, after a late-night movie. Younghoon drove Chanhee back to his place. But as the rain turned heavy, Chanhee refused to get out of the car until it stopped. 

An hour of making out and heavy petting later, there they were in the back seat. Sitting in the same position they were in now, with Chanhee on Younghoon’s lap as Younghoon fucked into him slowly. It was then that Chanhee knew he was different. Younghoon was all about taking his time, showing Chanhee his worth. He had been the one to rush Younghoon into sleeping together that night, and although neither of them regretted it, that should’ve been the first clue about just how different they were.

Chanhee was always looking for more, always looking for the next best thing. While Younghoon was content with whatever he had at that moment. It had caused so many fights over the years, with Chanhee’s impatience being the cause of most of them. Still, somehow, Younghoon managed to calm him down every time and bring him back to him.

Chanhee was finally breaking that cycle.

He learned he had patience. Younghoon added a third finger as Chanhee kept his hips perfectly still, letting Younghoon do all the work as he peppered his skin with kisses. Chanhee’s hands lay on top of Younghoon’s shoulders, no longer imprinting the marks against them like he used to do in an attempt to get Younghoon to hurry. He knew it was pointless.

He let Younghoon control it all. Their final night. Letting Younghoon lead with the impression that this would make him stay. Chanhee let Younghoon think whatever would help him sleep tonight.

“Chanhee,” Younghoon breathed against his chest. Chanhee licked his lips as he leaned back slightly, pushing Younghoon’s fingers inside of him slightly more as Younghoon kept him steady. “Kiss me.”

The plea was simple, and yet Younghoon’s voice shook. He wasn’t too fooled by this at all, it seemed.

Chanhee obeyed him. Younghoon withdrew his fingers, placing his hands on either hip as Chanhee’s delicate fingers flitted under Younghoon’s jaw. He pressed a kiss to his cheek first. Teasing him, like he always would. His cheek, his nose, the corner of his lips. Younghoon played the fool and allowed himself to smile at Chanhee’s playfulness as if this was the first time in five years that Chanhee had pulled this trick on a needy Younghoon.

Finally, as their lips connected, it was much softer than usual. Chanhee leaned into it. Met with slight reluctance from Younghoon, who was unwilling to reciprocate or open his mouth, Chanhee felt his heart twist in agony. Younghoon had figured out that he had been playing all along.

Tears began to wet his cheeks once more, his eyes unable to open. Chanhee gulped down the golf ball-sized lump in his throat as he thought of what to say.

“Younghoon,” He whispered. He saw the flicker of Younghoon’s eyes underneath his eyelids. He desperately wanted to look at Chanhee, he knew that. Chanhee continued to kiss his lips chastely, hoping it would spur him on. “Younghoon, I love you.”

Younghoon’s eyes snapped open, and in a heartbeat, the tables were turned. Chanhee found himself on his back, Younghoon slotting himself between his thighs as he pushed into Chanhee’s ass. Chanhee held in his cry; he knew now wasn’t the right time to be loud and distract Younghoon from his emotions.

“You’re leaving me.” He snapped his hips into Chanhee. The boy on the bottom gritted his lip between his teeth as he hiccuped.

“I know.”

Younghoon continued to fuck into him, his pace quickening, almost like he couldn’t control it. His hands came to clasp over Chanhee’s, pulling them over his head and pinning him down to the bed as Younghoon rested his body against him.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t leave me.” 

His face was imperatively close to Chanhee now. He could feel the tears drip from the edges of Younghoon’s eyelashes and onto his cheeks.

“I know.” 

With a burst of a hiccup and sob, Younghoon fucked into him harder. He fucked like he was trying to work out all of his frustrations at once: fast and sloppy. His hips lost rhythm as Chanhee grinned and beared it. Younghoon’s breath began to shake as he couldn’t focus on anything else.

“Why would you leave me, Chanhee? Why?” 

Chanhee couldn’t reply. He let out a long moan, light and airy, into the air. Younghoon found his prostate, hitting the same spot over and over again until it had Chanhee pleading for mercy in the sheets as he came. 

His eyes rolled to the back of his head, losing his voice as Younghoon didn’t lighten up on him yet. Younghoon thrust harder in Chanhee, deeply and without rhythm as tears fell freely between them. 

Chanhee couldn’t wipe them away, all he could do was feel them pat against his face as he watched.

Younghoon was inconsolable. His eyes shut tightly as he tried to focus on his orgasm. Chanhee rolled his head back, the constant abuse against his prostate began to make him ache. His legs felt weak until he realized that at this rate, Younghoon was going to cry himself silly before he came, so Chanhee decided to switch it up instead.

With all of his might, he switched positions. The two of them groaned heavily as Chanhee landed on Younghoon’s dick, pushing him all the way inside as he came to settle on his knees on either side of Younghoon’s hips.

He took two seconds to breathe. Letting a hand wander over Younghoon’s flushed, red chest. He felt his heart beat heavily in his ribcage as his lungs fought for air. Then Chanhee decided to move.

“Fuck.” Younghoon cursed at the feeling. Chanhee was slow and concise, taking Younghoon’s full length almost all the way out before slowly sliding back down him. He repeated it a few times as Younghoon melted into the sheets and let Chanhee do all the work.

His tired thighs picked up the pace, choosing to swivel his hips instead when they got too tired. Younghoon’s long fingers came to trace over Chanhee’s taut stomach, how the muscles tensed and contracted every time he fucked all the way down on his dick.

“You’re so perfect, Chanhee. I’ll never find anyone like you.” His voice was merely a whisper as Chanhee hung his head back and went faster. 

“You will.” He breathed back. He let his fingers dance on the edge of Younghoon’s hand as he laced their fingers together.

“I don’t want to.” Younghoon broke. Finally, he sounded tired enough for Chanhee to finish this.

He mustered up all of the strength that he had left inside of him. Everything of the past five years to help him get through this. Every moment they shared, the good and the bad, Chanhee let them all go in his mind as he closed his eyes and fucked Younghoon into the abyss and over the edge until he couldn’t come back from it.

“Fuck, Chanhee, oh my god-” He cried. Chanhee felt the grip around his fingers tighten as Younghoon came inside of him. He rocked his hips slowly until he felt him stop. The gentle moans escaping Younghoon’s throat died down as Chanhee unfurled their fingers. He was just about to climb off Younghoon when a pair of hands pulled him onto his chest.

“Stay the night,” Younghoon muttered into Chanhee’s sweat-soaked hair. He pressed his lips against it as he took in Chanhee’s scent one last time.

“Let’s talk this out in the morning, please. Just stay tonight.” 

Chanhee felt his heartbreak.

“Okay.”

The morning sun was gentle and bright. White sheets lay crumpled on what was once a bed which two lovers shared.

When Younghoon awoke, Chanhee would be gone. His clothes were missing as if he had never lived there. His coffee cup was left untouched in the sink. When the morning sun came, Younghoon already knew the truth and didn’t want to open his eyes. But still, the tears streamed through as he pretended to sleep.

Chanhee was gone.

He was alone.

**Author's Note:**

> [twt](https://twitter.com/connahquay) & [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/connahquay)


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